Death of Theatre

Everybody is frowning about the danger of Spider-Man on Broadway. I am not a hater about any theatre. Maybe if they molested people or murdered them against their wills... I wouldn't promote that... but I am usually the person that defends the production, "yeah, the show kinda sucked and Ethan Hawke could have been better but you know...THEY DID IT and THAT is everything."  I believe that.  Collaboration is what makes this world go round and if enough folks - no matter who or what they are - believe passionately in a vision just for the sake of making the vision happen... I'm impressed.


But...


I think Broadway has gone too far. Actors are not circus performers. Hire circus performers. Wait. Hire ACTORS and DO PLAYS on Broadway.


Yes. Theatre should always evolve and find new ways to reach an audience but how do we reach an audience with the attention span of a pop-up on their iPhones? We THROW actors AT them? While they are singing?


Peter Pan did it. I even heard that Sandy Duncan hit a few walls face on. Which is kind of hilarious. And of course there are accidents and difficulties when a medium is expanding. I can even talk myself out of this rant because I believe change is a part of life and evolution is inevitable.


BUT...


The next time I sit with a Broadway audience and have to ask people to stop talking more than six times or turn off their phones or please stop texting during blackouts or fantasize about putting gum in someone's hair when I hear in full voice in the middle of a monologue, "isn't she from TV".... I'm going to stand up and say: 


"IT'S YOU PEOPLE. YOU PEOPLE ARE KILLING BROADWAY. YOU PEOPLE AREN'T LISTENING OR WATCHING THIS SHOW. DIDN'T YOU PAY OVER TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR THESE TICKETS? OR DO YOU PEOPLE GO TO THE THEATRE JUST TO TELL PEOPLE YOU GO TO THE THEATRE? MOST OF YOU ARE OLDER THAN ME. OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW HOW TO BE QUIET WHEN SOMEONE ON A STAGE IS TALKING. MOST OF YOU ARE ACTING LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A PART OF AN AUDIENCE EVER IN YOUR LIFE. DO YOU JUST COME IN TO GO SHOPPING AND CATCH A SHOW STARRING A NAME YOU'VE HEARD OF SO YOU CAN BUY A T-SHIRT AND PROVE TO YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE CULTURED? YOU PEOPLE ARE THE REASON ACTORS IN SPIDER-MAN ARE RISKING THEIR LIVES. WE NOW HAVE TO REDUCE THIS CRAFT TO SLINGING A PERSON IN YOUR FACE SO YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION. YOU PEOPLE NEED A TIME OUT. I'M PULLING THIS CAR OVER AND I'M GOING TO COUNT TO THREE. YOU PEOPLE. LEARN TO BE WHERE YOU ARE. EXPERIENCE LIFE. I'm very sorry Mrs. Lansbury, please continue."