Three

That sharp small stab
A trigger, a wish, a reminder
I have to wait
I am not ready
We can't


I curl up to twist the bulge
I bring another pillow to my chest
The dog's breath is warm
And I think about when he will die


A gurgle and burp
I squeeze my legs
I bet it hurts just like this
And I think about when I will die


I look forward to looking back
Seeing my love and knowing we have made 
This...


I hold my breath.